A memory came to me recently when a friend was reflecting on some of the challenges she was facing. Sitting in a room listening to Robert Dilts, one of the developers of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) I heard him say the phrase "letting go and letting grow." It was the first and only time hearing this phrase, but it struck me as so profound it stuck with me. In fact it sent me into such a deep reflection and daydream I didn't hear his explanation of what his meaning of it was.
However it was only recently that I really began to real-eyes (see the Truth in) what it meant when my friend was recounting her experiences. What I originally believed it was about, letting go of the past, the hurt and painful memories and emotions, childish dreams, I couldn't have been more wrong.
What research, experience with others and my own personal journey has shown me is:
You can let go of the past because you don't have it to let go of anyway.. it's gone.
Why let go of memories? The brain is designed to remember things otherwise we don't learn and grow and are susceptible to making the same mistakes over and over.
Why let go of dreams? (even what we may perceive as childish) Often dreams come to us for a reason.. to find us, to bring them to life. Sometimes as children it's how we interpret these dreams that may make them seem unrealistic.
We are human beings and are designed to experience and feel and that includes our emotions, all of them. So again why let them go
So what is being held onto that may require letting go of so we may grow?
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." - Buddha
For me "empowerment" comes from taking responsibility over the things we actually can influence and that usually or even exclusively pertains to how we are responding to things.
Without going into confidential information of my friend, but in summary in sharing her experience, she began to real-eyes her role in creating a less than desirable reality. The recognition highlighted that it was the beliefs, judgements, emotions, expectations and behaviours that were being held.
The things she was believing about herself and others and then what judgements were being made based on those beliefs. Then what expectations arise from such beliefs and judgements and what emotions are experienced once those expectations are or are not met.
Now it's not about letting go of these things, but rather noticing if they are serving us to behave in ways that are helping us to experience happiness, fulfilment, positive relationships, etc.
It is the awareness of how our perspectives limit and create suffering and how taking responsibility for the things that shape our perspectives, allows us to really transform our reality and enrich our lives.
How is your perspective shaping your reality? is it enriching your life?