Silent Resilience
Reflections from a silent retreat.
Running a Qigong activity at the silent retreat
Silence is a source of great strength.
Lao Tzu
In today's fast pace of life, finding a moment of silence can be difficult, and silencing the mind even more so. When do you actually get a moment of silence?
Recently, I read an article on MineCheck that basically said that compared to 500 years ago, we now take in the same amount of information in a day that a highly educated person would take in their entire lifetime. The article goes on to say...
"Information scientists have found that the average person living today processes as much as 74 gigabytes (GB) of information a day through TV, computers, cell phones, tablets, billboards, and many other gadgets. That’s the equivalent of watching 16 movies, reading over 200,000 words, or scrolling.
Furthermore, in 2011 alone, we took in five times as much information every day as people did in 1986 – the equivalent of 174 newspapers."
The Importance of Stillness
Last week marked my fourth year co-facilitating at the silent retreat held at the stunning Nanpanton Hall with the amazing Marion Young. Nanpanton Hall is an truly magical place for the silent retreat with it's spectacular views of Charnwood Forest and cozy open fireplaces I continue to be astounded by the profound impact of silence and stillness, witnessing how turmoil evolves into triumph and suffering into strength.
This all happens in silence, with compassionate space and energy provided by Marion, Martin, Jan, and me (the retreat team), along with self-enquiry circles led by Marion. However, the team is not just observers in this process; we go through our own journey.
Attending the retreat reinforced the profound importance of silence, calmness, and relaxation in my life. In the aftermath of a tumultuous period, I gained a deep understanding of the extent to which I have been mentally and emotionally depleted. Moreover, I keenly observe that individuals within my circle – family, friends, and clients alike – are grappling with overwhelming feelings and burnout induced by information saturation and hectic routines.
Earlier this month, I led a resilience workshop for a technology company, and what really stood out was the number of people who came up to me afterward, sharing their personal stories of chronic stress, burnout, and exhaustion. It was eye-opening to see just how widespread these challenges are, especially in high-performing environments.
At the heart of the workshop was the message that we are innately resilient, but over time, we've lost sight of this deeper truth. Instead, we’ve bought into external narratives that glorify the Arnold Schwarzenegger "Terminator" approach to resilience – the push-through-everything mentality. Phrases like “power through the pain,” “hustle harder,” and “sleep when you’re dead” dominate our thinking. While the "Yang" approach, characterised by action, endurance, and pushing limits, has its place, we’ve become overly reliant on it.
Resilience workshop at Kerv
I have experienced the pitfalls of embracing these narratives firsthand. Initially, during my career as a Sales Professional in the corporate world, it resulted in burnout. More recently, as I transitioned into a Soulopreneur, I found myself falling into the trap of the hustle hard mentality, believing that success required constant striving, learning, and training. However, I have come to the realisation that this is not the right path for me.
*Soulopreneur (noun): An entrepreneur who aligns their business with personal values and a deeper purpose, prioritising ethical leadership, well-being, and positive social or environmental impact. Success is measured by both personal fulfilment and contributions to the greater good, beyond just financial gain.
This overemphasis on relentless drive is harmful because it neglects the equally vital "Yin" side of resilience – rest, reflection, and inner strength, conscious exercise. When we focus only on pushing ourselves to the brink, we miss the opportunity to recharge, listen to our bodies, and cultivate sustainable resilience. The result? Burnout, chronic stress, and a disconnect from our true selves. Real resilience requires balance, and it's time we embrace the full picture.
It's not a matter of "either" or "or", it's all about embracing Yin-Yang together. As multidimensional beings, the "Yin" aspect of resilience holds equal importance. This journey leads us inward, towards our core selves and inherent wisdom. It is imperative to carve out inner space to silence the external clamor and manage the flood of information bombarding our thoughts. Through this practice, we can reestablish a connection with our authentic selves and access that profound wisdom.
Resilience is not a one-size-fits-all approach because we all have unique life circumstances. The way resilience manifests for a Generation X male, like myself, who runs a business and has a family, will differ from how it appears for a Generation Z woman, whether single or with a family, facing the challenges of being an executive in the corporate world.
For some people, starting the day with a 5K run is ideal, while others may prefer 20 minutes of Qi-gong. Similarly, writing in a journal before bed can improve sleep for some, while others may find solace in quiet meditation or a walk in nature. Therefore, it is important to create a personalised resilience plan that caters to your individual needs and lifestyle, as resilience requires a multifaceted approach tailored to each individual.
During a moment of quiet reflection on the retreat, it dawned on me that resilience has consistently been a central theme in my workshops, retreats, and individual client sessions over the past two decades, as well as in my own life journey.. This realisation has inspired the next phase of my mission and purpose: the development of "Recoded Resilience 3.0," a holistic resource designed to help individuals navigate the challenges of modern life, high-performance work environments, and beyond.
This is just the beginning. Watch this space!
Now off to another adventure in Thailand.
Best Selling Book
I am officially a best selling author!
A huge thank you to everyone that supported me with buying the book on the day of the release which helped it get the "best seller" status in 8 categories.
For my chapter in this book I talk about my personal story from having an Existential crisis in the corporate world to going on my first retreat in 1999. And how this leads to "innerstanding" our 5 Intelligences and how we can use them to thrive in our lives,
The paperback version is also out now as well as the kindle version, if you would like to purchase a copy click the following links
Hopefully this is just the start for a creative outlet for me, again watch this space.
Retreats
The Inner Guru Retreat - October 2024 - Full
Dates for 2025 coming soon.
I'm happy to announce that I have found a new venue for the Inner Guru retreat in October 2024 (8th - 17th).
What's included
Yoga - Mental and Physical re-balancing - re-connecting our body and mind as a complete system
Meditation - generating deep relaxation and inner Peace - a natural way for stress management
Fasting - resting your internal organs allowing them to repair and be rejuvenated
Cleansing Detox - cleansing your body of waste, parasites and toxins supporting the re-generation of new Healthy cells.
Prices from £1,250
Price includes Accommodation, Transfers in Thailand, 3.5 Cleansing Detox, Detox, drinks, supplements, Exercises (Yoga, meditation, etc), coaching in workshops.
Flights not included in price.
Additional Extras (not included in the price)
Massages, meals, therapeutic and beauty treatments; one-to-one coaching sessions,
If you'd like to learn more, let me know by sending a message with "Inner guru" as the subject for advanced notice of dates, costs and if you have any questions.
Click here for full details
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