Self-Preservation Vs Self-Love.
In this issue;
Self-Love is an act of intelligence
I used to think resilience was about pushing through. That if I could just handle more, endure more, keep going no matter what, I’d be fine. And for a long time, that worked… until it didn’t.
Because here’s the thing: survival mode is a trap. It tricks you into thinking you’re being strong when really, you’re just running on fumes.
I learned this the hard way. I spent years operating from Resilience 1.0—that raw, instinctual fight-flight-freeze response. I could take the hits, adapt, and keep moving. And when that wasn’t enough, I leaned into Resilience 2.0—the mindset work, the pushing past limits, the rewiring of beliefs.
But even then, something felt off. Because I wasn’t just bouncing back, I was constantly having to. And that’s exhausting.
The Shift: From Survival to Self-Love
At some point, I had to ask myself: What if resilience wasn’t about how much I could take, but about how well I looked after myself?
That’s when I started building Resilience 3.0. Not just for others, but for myself. It wasn’t about enduring hardship better. It was about creating a life where I didn’t have to keep recovering from it.
That shift changed everything. It moved resilience from self-preservation to self-love.
And let’s be real, self-love is a word that gets thrown around a lot, but this isn’t about bubble baths and positive affirmations (though those are great too). I’m talking about the deep, radical self-respect that changes the way you show up for yourself.
What That Actually Looked Like for Me
For me, it meant realising that:
• Resilience isn’t about pushing through exhaustion. It’s about recognising when I’m depleted and making rest non-negotiable.
• It’s not about proving I can do it alone. It’s about knowing when to ask for support, when to pause, when to step back.
• It’s not about seeing struggle as a badge of honour. It’s about designing a life that doesn’t revolve around constant struggle in the first place.
That’s what Resilience 3.0 is really about. It’s not about enduring. It’s about thriving. And thriving starts with self-love.
The Five Intelligences: Where It All Comes Together
One of the biggest things that helped me move out of survival mode was understanding that resilience isn’t just one thing. It’s not just mental toughness or emotional intelligence—it’s the alignment of five intelligences:
• PQ (Physical Intelligence): My body isn’t just a tool. It’s an ecosystem. If I don’t take care of it, everything else falls apart.
• IQ (Cognitive Intelligence): Thinking my way through everything wasn’t enough. I had to get smarter about how I made decisions.
• EQ (Emotional Intelligence): Suppressing emotions doesn’t make you resilient. Learning from them does.
• iQ (Intuitive Intelligence): The gut feelings I used to ignore? Turns out, they were trying to help me.
• SQ (Spiritual Intelligence): Resilience isn’t just personal. It’s about connection—to self, to others, to something bigger.
The Takeaway: This Is a Choice
I know a lot of you are in that place I was constantly bouncing back, always pushing through, never really feeling like you can exhale. And I get it. That version of resilience is familiar. It’s what we’ve been taught.
But I’m telling you, there’s another way. Resilience 3.0 is about self-leadership. It’s about designing your life in a way that doesn’t demand constant recovery.
So, my question for you is: Are you still in survival mode, or are you ready to start thriving?
An Invitation to Reclaim Your Story Workshop
After the success and powerful impact of the Reclaim your origin story workshop earlier this month, I've decided to run it again. If you missed it make sure you attend this one.
Your Origin Story
3rd March and 17th March
This workshop is a space for reflection and empowerment. It’s for you if:
You feel disconnected from your sense of purpose or direction.
You’ve struggled to embrace the fullness of who you are.
You’re ready to let go of the old stories that hold you back.
Through this work, you’ll learn how to honour your story, connect with the essence of who you are, and bring that power into your life, work, and relationships.
This is Your Moment
You don’t have to wait for permission to own who you are. Your story matters. Your UniqueAbility matters. And the world needs what only you can bring.
If this resonates with you, take the next step. Join us in this workshop and reclaim your story, your power, and your sense of belonging. This is your time to step into your full self and start creating from a place of clarity and purpose.
Are you ready? Let’s begin.
The Inner Guru
Dates October 8th - 16th 2025.
Join us on the Island of Koh Chang for the next Inner Guru retreat.
What's included
Pre-retreat sessions and information for your preparation.
Yoga - Mental and Physical re-balancing - re-connecting our body and mind as a complete system
Meditation - generating deep relaxation and inner Peace - a natural way for stress management
Group coaching session workshops and workbook.
Pre-detox and post-detox meal for preparing for and breaking the fast.
Fasting - resting your internal organs allowing them to repair and be rejuvenated
Cleansing Detox - cleansing your body of waste, parasites and toxins supporting the re-generation of new Healthy cells.
3 x 30 mins Abdominal massages to support the detox process from qualifed and experienced professionals
3 x 60 mins traditional Thai or oil massages for relaxation and de-stressing from qualified and experienced professionals.
3 X infrared sauna or herbal steam to support detox and general wellbeing.
Prices from £1,595 - Book and pay your deposit before end of Feb for £100 off
Price includes Accommodation, Transfers in Thailand, 3.5 Cleansing Detox, Detox, drinks, supplements, Pre detox and Post detox meals, 30 min abdominal massage, 60 minute thai or oil massage, Infra Sauna and steam Exercises (Yoga, meditation, etc), coaching in workshops.
Flights not included in price.
Additional Extras (not included in the price)
Massages, meals, therapeutic and beauty treatments; one-to-one coaching sessions,
If you'd like to learn more, let me know by sending a message with "Inner guru" as the subject for advanced notice of dates, costs and if you have any questions.
Click here for full details
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