Wise Words - The 'L' Words; Are you a loser or a learner?
In these wise words you probably won't read anything new or haven't seen before in some way shape or form. So now you have a choice to stop reading and do something else or to continue reading.
O.K. great you decided to read on and that is probably down to one of the most valuable resources that you have, curiosity.
A lesson learned
Recently my wife started working for herself in a direct sales and marketing business. One day she woke up feeling pretty stressed and anxious as she was not used to this way of working. As she explained how she was feeling I offered my advice coming from a background of sales for many years. Eventually, after my suggestions of what to do first, how getting started ASAP and getting out there would be ideal, she said thanks but now she feels even more stressed and anxious than before and my "advice" was not what she needed at that time.
Now it wasn't an issue for me that she didn't want my advice, as I offered it freely and she could take or leave what she wanted. However what did bother me was with all my training, skills and experience as a sales professional, coach and trainer, I broke all the basic rules. I didn't listen, I overstepped boundaries, didn't seek permission, etc., I saw myself going into an old pattern of berating myself for not knowing and doing better.
"Any fool can know. The point is to understand."
I had forgotten the first and most important lesson; never stop learning. When my wife shared her feelings I became a "know-it-all', I thought I knew all the answers to solve her problems and help her get selling, with my extensive experience as a .... blah, blah, blah! In that moment I had inadvertently become a 'loser' because I wasn't being a 'learner'.
The reality is that we can be qualified, trained and experienced but unlike passing a driving test we will always be learners because there is no qualification or test to pass for life. We are students in life and if we are open to it we are always able to learn, unless we close our mind and then in my opinion we become a 'loser', losing the ability to learn and grow.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
It's not me, it's you!
When we make the focus about someone else and not what we know, we can create amazing learning experiences for all parties involved.
When I remember, the 3 L's work very well:
Listen - listen deeply with the purpose of understanding and not responding
Learn - develop a strong sense of curiosity and use questions to guide rather than make statements or give advice
Love - in this context I mean coming from a place of openness, compassion and being there for another
I hope these 3 L's serve you as well as they serve me when used.
Be Well, Be Great, Be Inspired.